I bet he had more fun at the movies than John Dillinger ever did

Did The Departed get a thumb's-up review from a not-entirely-objective critic? For Martin Scorsese's sake, I certainly hope so.

An 'Inconvenient' Oscar?

If An Inconvenient Truth wins the Oscar for Best Documentary, how will that affect Al Gore's plans for a 2008 presidential bid? Mick LaSalle has an intriguing theory: "If you see a chubby, happy Al Gore standing next to the producer and director, celebrating the win at the Oscars, forget it, he's not running. Nothing to do with Hollywood plays well in the heartland (except the movies themselves). The cultural resentment of Hollywood is almost pathological in certain sections of the country. However, if Gore chooses not to be there -- if he's at the spa that day -- then you can take it to the bank. Big Al's running."

More Bondage

Associated Press movie writer David Germain looks back at two earlier versions of Casino Royale, while another AP scribe reminds us that real-life British spies aren't licensed to kill. Really. Honest. No kidding. Scout's honor.

What's that? You say there's a new James Bond movie coming out this weekend? Really? Gee, why haven't we heard more about it?

But seriously, folks: New York Daily News profiles the "Bond girl" who's clearly uncomfortable with that dubious title, and the on-set photographer who's hugely impressed by the new 007. And long-time Bondophile Louis B. Parks offers a nifty overview of the superspy franchise and an amusing sidebar about Bond's introduction to American audiences (and readers) in the Houston Chronicle.

Rocky Mountain High

I just flew back from the Denver Film Festival, and boy, are my arms tired. Ba-da-boom! But seriously, folks: This was my first (but I hope not last) visit to one of North America's longest-running celebrations of cinema, and I want to tell you all about it. That is, just as soon as I recover from a mad rush of hearty partying during my last night in the Mile High City. Please stay tuned for detailed reports about, among other things, a delightfully sly, smart and sensitive mockumentary about high school teachers, a surprisingly compelling mutant-monster melodrama from South Korea -- and an ingeniously clever slasher-movie parody that is even better than David Poland reported last spring from South by Southwest. BTW: The latter two films feature Scott Wilson, the prodigiously protean character actor I was honored to query during a special Denver Festival tribute on Saturday night. Once again: More to come.

Not a good weekend for 'A Good Year'

As Nikki Finke notes in her early b.o. report: "All I can say is, everybody may want to duck when Russell gets the bad news."

Bloggus interruptus

Sorry about the lack of recent postings. I have been thrown off my schedule by computer mishaps and cross-country travel. Watch this space for further developments.

'Adrienne Shelly was murdered!'

A tragic story takes a truly bizarre twist. Expect to see a Law & Order episode with a very similar plot, very soon.

My new favorite poem

"How to Live"

By Charles Harper Webb

Eat lots of steak and salmon and Thai curry and mu shu
pork and fresh green beans and baked potatoes
and fresh strawberries with vanilla ice cream.
Kick-box three days a week. Stay strong and lean.
Go fly-fishing every chance you get, with friends

who'll teach you secrets of the stream. Play guitar
in a rock band. Read Dostoyevsky, Whitman, Kafka,
Shakespeare, Twain. Collect Uncle Scrooge comics.
See Peckinpah's Straw Dogs, and everything Monty Python made.
Love freely. Treat ex-partners as kindly

as you can. Wish them as well as you're able.
Snorkel with moray eels and yellow tangs. Watch
spinner dolphins earn their name as your panga slam-
bams over glittering seas. Try not to lie; it sours
the soul. But being a patsy sours it too. If you cause

a car wreck, and aren't hurt, but someone is, apologize
silently. Learn from your mistake. Walk gratefully
away. Let your insurance handle it. Never drive drunk.
Don't be a drunk, or any kind of "aholic." It's bad
English, and bad news. Don't berate yourself. If you lose

a game or prize you've earned, remember the winners
history forgets. Remember them if you do win. Enjoy
success. Have kids if you want and can afford them,
but don't make them your reason-to-be. Spare them that
misery. Take them to the beach. Mail order sea

monkeys once in your life. Give someone the full-on
ass-kicking he (or she) has earned. Keep a box turtle
in good heath for twenty years. If you get sick, don't thrive
on suffering. There's nothing noble about pain. Die
if you need to, the best way you can. (You define best.)

Go to church if it helps you. Grow tomatoes to put store-
bought in perspective. Listen to Elvis and Bach. Unless
you're tone deaf, own Perlman's "Meditation from Thais."
Don't look for hidden meanings in a cardinal's song.
Don't think TV characters talk to you; that's crazy.

Don't be too sane. Work hard. Loaf easily. Have good
friends, and be good to them. Be immoderate
in moderation. Spend little time anesthetized. Dive
the Great Barrier Reef. Don't touch the coral. Watch
for sea snakes. Smile for the camera. Don't say "Cheese."

Tuesday night viewing tip

Thanks to Anne Thompson for the head's up: Peter Bogdanovich's new and improved version of his classic documentary Directed By John Ford will be shown Tuesday on Turner Classic Movies, to kick off a month-long Ford retrospective on the invaluable cable network.

'Borat' b.o.

According to preliminary box-office figures, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan hit the No. 1 spot this weekend with an estimated $26.4 million gross. Unlike some of my colleagues, I think 20th Century Fox's limited-release pattern was pure genius. As I've posted elsewhere: If the movie had hit the No. 1 spot while playing in 3,000 theaters, it would be perceived as a hit. In 800 or so theaters, it is perceived as a phenomenon. Now you tell me: What gets more ink, causes more buzz, raises more want-to-see enthusiasm -- a hit or a phenomenon?

For what it's worth: I caught Borat at a 7 o'clock screening last night here in Houston at the AMC 30. It was in one of the biggest auditoriums -- but the house was only half full. The response was largely enthusiastic, however. (I must admit: I laughed loudest at a throwaway sight gag that I don't want to spoil; suffice it to say it involves a bear and a refrigerator.) Once again, unlike some of my colleagues, I can't say I found it any more shocking or "transgressive" than, say, National Lampoon's Van Wilder (remember the eclairs filled with dog semen?) or jackass number two (take your pick of any scene). And I really don't believe all the documentary-style "set-ups" are on the up-and-up. (Note that the filmmakers weren't forced to blur the faces of any "unsuspecting" interview subjects, as often happens in the Jackass movies.) But, hell, funny is funny, and much of the movie is bust-a-gut hilarious.

BTW: Did they have to abruptly cut off the final scene because a gag didn't work? I'm talking about Borat's introduction of his new "wife" back home. I felt like a punchline or a pay-off got left on the cutting room floor. Anyone out there know anything about this?

'Martin Scorsese's Next Film To Be Three Hours Of Begging For Oscar'

Hilarious stuff from The Onion: A sneak preview of The Entitled, Martin Scorsese's "three-hour, unabashed plea for a Best Director Oscar," coming soon to a theater near you.

"'I've been making pictures for 40 years,' said the intense, fast-talking Scorsese in an excerpt from The Entitled, during which the Rolling Stones' 'Gimme Shelter' can be heard in the background. 'For 40 years, I've been making pictures. And I've always been fascinated with the struggles a man must endure when people don't appreciate him. People say I'm the best. I didn't say it, they did. I just do my work. But for years they've been talking and you know it. You do. I deserve that award, is all I'm saying...

"'You already should have done right by me with Gangs Of New York,' he said. 'I handed you guys that one on a silver platter.'"

The once and future Bonds

Interesting featurette in the Sunday L.A. Times about the "rebooting" of the James Bond franchise (following the financially successful but critically drubbed Die Another Day) with Casino Royale. Helmer Martin Campbell -- who previously jump-started the series by introducing Pierce Brosnan as 007 in GoldenEye -- admits he wasn't entirely convinced at first that Daniel Craig could take over the superspy role. But that was before he realized the producers wanted to return to the gritty roots of the original Ian Fleming novel. Money quote: "[O]nce I saw where we were going, Daniel was the perfect fit for the story we were telling. The character in the books is much darker than he has been in the movies and that's what we've returned to. It's a more personal, more emotional story than we've seen Bond in before. Daniel has a sexuality that's very much in keeping with how Fleming saw the character."

I realize this is a minority opinion, but I've always felt that, up until now, Timothy Dalton came closer than any other actor to playing 007 as the ruthless SOB that Fleming originally envisioned. Unfortunately, his two Bond movies -- Licence to Kill and The Living Daylights -- were box-office underachievers. For the sake of the series and its longtime fans (and yes, I include myself in their number), I hope Casino Royale makes a bigger splash and comes up a winner.

On the other hand: I can remember a time when Pierce Brosnan was hyped as the new and improved 007...

'Borat' rules

According to Nikki Finke, however, Santa stumbles.

R.I.P. Adrienne Shelly (1966 - 2006)

My immediate reaction to news of Adrienne Shelly's tragic death is, of course, deep regret that a bright light has been dimmed much too soon. But I also must admit to equal measures of aching melancholy and wistful nostalgia, as I think of the eternally waifish actress as the poster girl for a specific period in indie cinema -- call it Early Sundance, late '80s to the early '90s -- that now seems almost as distant as the Hollywood renaissance of the 1970s. As Matt Dentler perceptively notes, Shelly "was an evocative and yet subdued force of nature, witty and warm. She was the personification of the 'indie-film muse' during the beginning of the 1990s."

I was especially impressed by her work in two early, quirky Hal Hartley comedies -- The Unbelievable Truth and Trust -- that rank among my very favorite movies of the Early Sundance era. While reviewing the latter back in 1991, I wrote: "As Maria, a 17-year-old high-school senior noted for her purple lipstick and surly attitude, Shelly makes one hell of an entrance. The movie begins with Maria's informing her parents that she has dropped out of school, plans to marry her jock boyfriend - and, by the way, is pregnant. Her father, understandably upset, snarls: 'Slut!' Maria slaps his face, and walks out the door. Dad has a sudden heart attack, and falls down dead."

Things go from bad to worse as Maria is rejected by her mom, dropped by her boyfriend, and nearly raped by a convenience store clerk. Fortunately, however, she finds a soul-mate of sorts in Matthew (Martin Donovan), a troubled young man who gradually realizes that maybe he can save himself if he somehow saves Maria. He comes to trust her so much that he shows her his prized possession: a hand grenade that he says he carries with him at all times. ''Why?'' she asks. ''Just in case,'' he responds. ''Are you emotionally disturbed?'' she inquires.

Donovan is terrific, I noted in 1991, but "Adrienne Shelly has the more challenging role -- her character evolves from miniskirted bimbo to self-effacing victim, and from there to something far more formidable -- and she plays it with uncommon skill, grace, intelligence and conviction. Trust is probably the only movie ever made where the heroine must put on, not take off, her glasses before the hero even thinks of kissing her. Shelly makes braininess, and budding confidence, very attractive indeed. When she smiles, you get the feeling she could inspire a man to do anything. She might even get him to give up his hand grenade."

Query: Is it too late for the Sundance Film Festival to schedule a mini-retrospective of Adrienne Shelly's films for Jaunuary 2007?

That Kerry, what a kidder!

With so much being made of John Kerry's unfortunate attempt at jocularity this week, I'm reminded of an interview I did two years ago with George Butler, the master documentarian (and long-time Kerry buddy), after the Toronto Film Festival premiere of Butler's Going Upriver: The Long War of John Kerry. Specifically, I'm thinking about this exchange:

Q: The common rap against Kerry as a campaigner is that he’s too stiff, too formal. You’ve known him for a long time. What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard him say?

Butler: Well, he used to do a terrific Peter Sellers imitation. He could play Inspector Clouseau and so forth. But other than that… I’m just trying to think. [Long pause] What I would say is more interesting about John is to be in a room with him and understand that he just said something that was incredibly insightful, or analytic in just the perfect kind of way.

Translation: He's a brilliant guy, but he's no Richard Pryor.

My take: If someone who's known you for 40 years can't think of a single freakin' joke you've ever told... Well, I dunno, maybe those jokes weren't very funny? So maybe, just maybe, you ought to leave the stand-up to the experts?

(Yes, I voted for the guy anyway. No, I wouldn't want him as my warm-up act.)

Re-United Artists?

Tom Cruise and producing partner Paula Wagner will take over the studio founded by Mary Pickford, Charlie Chaplin, D.W. Griffith and Douglas Fairbanks. Obviously, Hollywood royalty ain't what it used to be. But, what the hell, good luck to the new moguls.

Coming attraction

Robert De Niro co-stars with 50 Cent? For a movie set in post-Katrina New Orleans? Hey, on opening weekend, I will be so there.

Lesson No. 7: Have no shame whatsoever

John Horn of the L.A. Times offers six lessons to moviemakers (and movie stars) seeking Oscar glory. The light and breezy piece touches on recent phenomena -- Shakespeare in Love upsets Saving Private Ryan, Roman Polanski transcends his fugitive status, etc. -- and an amusing blast from the past: Sally Kirkland's 1987 push for a Best Actress nomination, one of the first Academy Award campaigns to successfully employ video screeners as stealth weapons.

American monsters in South Korea

A monster movie in which the bad guys are monstrous American soldiers -- and a "truck-sized, flesh-hungry lizard" -- currently is a big hit in South Korea. But how will it play in America? We'll find out this month when it plays at the Denver and AFI film festivals.