Insert Laurel and Hardy joke here

Politics make for strange... bipartisan partnerships.

Scary stuff, kids! Talkin' 'bout horror flicks on Great Day Houston

Better late than never, here's a segment devoted to Halloween-appropriate movies, with me and Deborah Duncan, that ran last Wednesday on Great Day Houston.

Lena Dunham talks about her "first time"

The lovely and talented Lena Dunham made me laugh out loud with this video in support of President Barack Obama. At least, I laughed until, for the second time in less than a week, I was reminded that I cast my first vote in a Presidential election all the way back in 1972, for George McGovern. God, I feel old. As Vincent Price once said after he realized that, out of all the people in an old movie he was watching on TV, he was the only one still alive: "I put down the drink -- and picked up the bottle."

R.I.P.: George McGovern (1922-2012)

Two things that immediately popped into my head when I heard the sad news this morning about George McGovern's death.

First, he was the first Presidential candidate I ever voted for -- at a time when this country seemed even more divided and yet, strangely enough, at the same time, somewhat more civil than it is now.

Second: It has been impossible for me to read or hear McGovern's name ever since seeing All the President's Men without thinking of Hal Holbrook in that dimly lit parking garage telling Robert Redford, in the condescending tone of someone explaining the obvious to a none-too-bright child, that McGovern was the liberal Democrat that Richard Nixon and his flunkies wanted to run against in 1972, because he'd be so much easier to beat than Ed Muskie.

I have never ceased to agree with those who've praised George McGovern as a good and honorable man. But I still shudder when I consider how easily and ruthlessly he, and we, were manipulated by his opponent.

Joe Biden's here, and he brought doughnuts

You have to hand it to Joe Biden and the Democrats -- they're big on bringing junk food to the party. And I for one appreciate that.

Coming soon: Zombies Versus Gladiators. No, seriously: Zombies vs. Frickin' Gladiators

As H.L. Mencken once sagely noted: "Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public." Wonder what the old boy would make of Amazon.com's announced intention to get into the movie production business with "crowdsourced" projects like... like... well, Zombies Versus Gladiators.

Latest reason I love being a teacher

Tonight, I had a student thank me -- actually thank me -- for screening His Girl Friday during a History of Film class at Houston Community College. But wait, there's more: He also said that he wanted to someday, somehow, make a movie as smartly written as this one. I told him: Good luck. I look forward to reviewing it.

A Capital film

I suspected -- and admitted I suspected -- I would like Costa-Gavras' Capital before I actually saw it last month at the Toronto Film Festival. And sure enough, the film turned out to be a slick and sensationally entertaining melodrama. Unfortunately, I got sidetracked while gathering production info -- i.e., the cast and crew credits I need to list for a Variety review -- and then something came up, followed by something else. So I didn't get around to giving the movie its due props. Until now.

Seven PsychoCATS (Get it?)

As the owner of three cats, I find this mildly amusing parody absolutely irresistible. But I must admit: The uncensored version is a lot funnier.

Let's see Lelouch's Les Miserables on DVD and Blu-Ray, OK?

Every great once in a while, I am reminded that, contrary to what we might sometimes think, not every great movie is available in the U.S. on DVD. Case in point: Claude Lelouch's Les Miserables (1995), one of my favorite films of all time. As I wrote years ago:

"Claude Lelouch's audacious and exciting epic is neither a film version of the long-running musical nor a traditional adaptation of Victor Hugo's classic novel. Rather, it is a sweeping and sensationally passionate drama that succeeds brilliantly on its own merits as a celebration of storytelling (and, of course, moviemaking) as inspiration and illumination. A magnificently ravaged Jean-Paul Belmondo plays Henri Fortin, an ordinary man whose life spans an extraordinary period in French history: Born at the turn of the century, he lives long enough to endure the cruelties of the Nazi occupation. Rootless and illiterate, he is introduced to Les Miserables at an early age -- in a silent movie! -- and embraces Jean Valjean as his hero, mentor and alter ego. So much so, in fact, that Henri agrees to help a Jewish family escape from Paris, setting into motion a fateful series of betrayals, reconciliations, reversals of fortune and triumphs of the spirit. There are images in Les Miserables that are as hauntingly beautiful as any in the history of cinema. And there are entire sequences that are nothing short of astonishing. Lelouch is one of the few contemporary filmmakers who remains capable of the grand romantic gestures that made many of us fall in love with movies in the first place."

If anyone at Warner Home Video reads this, take it as a plea: The upcoming film version of the stage musical is bound to be a great big hit, so why not give us a DVD/Blu-Ray of Lelouch's masterwork? Think of it this way: You'll be able to hitch a ride on the gravy train, and sell a whole bunch of units. 

This just in: Barack Obama is a colored person

A Twitter friend posted this with the message: "This is what Republicans see every time the President speaks in front of black folks." You know, I think he may be on to something.

Schwarzenegger: Yeah, I performed same-sex marriages while I was governor. You got a problem with that?

Looks like Leslie Stahl didn't get quite the answers she expected when she interviewed the former California governor and born-again movie star when she interviewed him for a 60 Minutes profile set to air Sunday on CBS.

Flashback: Anthony Perkins on making Psycho with Alfred Hitchcock

As Fox Searchlight prepares to launch Hitchcock in this year's Oscar race with a world premiere screening at the AFI Fest, I thought it might be a good time to offer as prelude to the film -- which deals with the making of Psycho, and stars Anthony Hopkins as the Master of Suspense -- this link to an interview I did years ago with Anthony Perkins (played in Hitchcock by James D'Arcy), who had some fascinating things to say about becoming Norman Bates.

Live from Fantastic Fest: It's Red Dawn

And guess what? The long-delayed remake doesn't suck. Seriously. You can read my Variety review here.

Samuel L. Jackson in Wake the F**k Up!!!!

Personally, I think this is Jackson's finest performance since Snakes on a Plane.

R.I.P.: Herbert Lom (1917-2012)

Most people remember Herbert Lom best as the ever-excitable, chronically frustrated Inspector Dreyfus opposite Peter Sellers' indefatigably klutzy Inspector Clouseau in Blake Edwards' Pink Panther movies. But I must confess that my most vivid impression of Lom as a screen actor was formed many decades ago, when, as a wide-eyed kid growing up in New Orleans, I saw the Czech-born, Brit-trained actor in the title role of Hammer Studios' 1962 remake of The Phantom of the Opera.

Lom's sympathetic portrayal of the acid-scarred outcast struck me as so affecting, so sympathetic, that I actually mailed a Christmas card to the guy in care of Universal (the film's U.S. distributor). Can you imagine my surprise and delight when, a few weeks later, I actually received a note signed by Lom himself, thanking me for the card? I was 11 or 12 at the time. It was like getting a personalized acknowledgment from God

Several years later, I was at a Hollywood event of some sort -- frankly, I don't recall precisely what it was -- when I had a fleeting close encounter with one of the guests: Herbert Lom. By that point, I was well into my 30s. But I turned into a kid all over again when I shook Lom's hand -- and gushed a thank-you for his long-ago thank-you card. To his credit, Lom didn't immediately call for aid from security personnel. Instead, he smiled -- indeed, he heartily laughed -- and spent a few minutes conversing with me about Phantom, the Pink Panther movies, and a few other notable films (including The Ladykillers, also with Sellers, and the original Gambit) he had done.

It's to my eternal regret that I never actually got to meet Lom's Phanton co-star, the late, great Michael Gough, another icon from my youth. But on this day when I celebrate the life of a splendid character who showed me such kindness, I marvel once again at the blessings I have received during my long career of getting paid to go to the movies.

Resident Evil: The Bottom of the Barrel

So far, I have received -- oh, I dunno, maybe a zillion retweets for this tongue-in-cheek Tweet: "Isn't it about time in the Resident Evil franchise for Alice to run into Abbott and Costello?" So I guess I'm not the only one who's run out of patience with this long-running sci-fi series. The latest installment -- Resident Evil: Retribution -- arguably is the least coherent and most enervating yet. (You can read my Variety review here.) Maybe the producers really should take a page from the old Universal horror flicks and team Alice with Kate Beckinsale as Selene of the Underworld movies for their next installment. It couldn't hurt.

A trailer for Innocence of Muslims. Yeah, that movie.

I keep waiting for the email or phone call from my editors at Variety: "Hey, Joe, thanks for covering 2016. Now we have another movie for you to review..." Because, hey, controversy is my middle name. Well, actually, Patrick is my middle name, and Michael is my Confirmation name. But controversy is hanging around in there someplace, I think.

Progress report from TIFF: Hello, I must be going

Hey, didn't I just get here? Then how come it's already time to start packing? Alas, it's no longer feasible, for various reasons, for me to stay until the very end of the Toronto Film Festival. I'll have a more detailed wrap-up to offer after I return to my H-Town home base. To tide over my readers (both of you) until then, here are links to my Variety reviews of Men at Lunch, Iceberg Slim: Portrait of a Pimp (pictured above) and The Tortoise, An Incarnation.

Recalling Michael Caine recalling 9/11

From a 2002 interview: Michael Caine is, by his own admission, “a news junkie,” the kind of compulsive who’ll reflexively tune his TV to CNN during any lull in a day’s activities. Which is why, on the afternoon of Sept. 11, 2001, while he sat in his London home office, waiting for word from director Phillip Noyce about the previous evening’s New Jersey sneak preview of The Quiet American, he found himself transfixed by the aftermath of the first assault on the World Trade Center.

Then he saw the second plane’s approach.

“And my first reaction,” Caine recalls, “was, ‘Jesus, that’s quick.’ Because, you see, I thought it was one of those planes like they have in California that drop the powder on the forest fires. I thought that’s what this plane was for. And it had only been about a quarter of an hour or 18 minutes since the other plane had hit the building. So I thought, ‘Wow, They got that plane up there so fast, to drop powder on that fire.’

“But then it went straight into the tower.

“And at first, none of it registered. I felt like, OK, I’m not a moron – actually, I feel I’m quite bright. But I was sitting there, stunned, thinking something like, ‘What happened here? It didn’t drop any of that powder, did it?’ It was only about two seconds, I know, but it seemed to me like half an hour. And then I saw the flames – that big woosh! – come out of the building...”

The rest of the interview can be found here.