Bad House

It has nothing to do with the terrific TV series. It's not even a remake of the silly 1986 horror flick starring William Katt. No, this particular House is... Well, look, I get paid to see movies like this. (My Variety review is here.) Unless you can get a similar scam going for yourself, don't bother.

The glamorous life of a semi-famous film critic/blogger

Today I am dusting, sweeping and otherwise neatening up my home office, in the hope of (a) bringing order out of chaos, so I can better organize an ongoing research project, and (b) allowing the installer(s) easier access to my computer next week when I switch high-speed Internet service providers. I am disgustingly dirty and sweaty – and, worse, covered with dust. (I had to wash my hands before taking a break to type this.) Indeed, I’m finding huge clumps of dust here, there and everywhere. I fear that, if I did a DNA examination of some clumps, I’d find traces of dearly departed pet cats who joined the Choir Invisible years ago. I am posting this info only so that, if I suddenly am stricken with an inexplicable malady, and I fall into a coma, someone can inform Dr. House and his team where I may have contracted something.

The 'Raines' came... and left

I strongly suspect that my favorite new TV series of the season -- actually, my favorite series to premiere since House -- aired its last original episode Friday night. So while you still can, take a look at Raines. Pay particularly close attention to the pilot, which deftly establishes the premise -- and pulls off an ingenious twist during the final minutes. (It was directed, by the way, by Frank Darabont.) Then check out the ineffably melancholy "Reconstructing Alice" with the great Laurie Metcalf (who, in a perfect world, would be a slam dunk for an Emmy nomination). As Michael Raines, the L.A. cop who imagines he can converse with murder victims (who, in actuality, are projections of his brilliant -- albeit unstable -- ratiocinative mind), Jeff Goldblum hits the perfect balance of hard-boiled and soft-hearted, sharply witty and wistfully sad. At his frequent best, he makes me think of David Janssen's Harry O -- if only Harry could have seen dead men (and women) talking.