Dishonorable mention

To the surprise of absolutely no one in attendance at the 27th annual Golden Raspberry Awards in Los Angeles last night, Basic Instinct 2 earned top dishonor as Worst Picture of 2006. The conspicuously unerotic and non-thrilling erotic thriller also earned booby prizes for Worst Actress (Sharon Stone), Worst Prequel or Sequel, and Worst Screenplay. Still, it could have been worse -- the movie didn't win in the category of Worst Screen Couple. "Sharon Stone's Lop-Sided Breasts" had been considered the leading nominee(s), but the award wound up going to even less worthy contenders: Shawn Wayans and either Kerry Washington or Marlon Wayans for Little Man. (Fortunately for Washington, she was seen to much better advantage in another 2006 release, as the most unfortunate of Idi Amin's wives in The Last King of Scotland.) Razzies founder John Wilson made no apologies for dissing Little Man in two other categories as well. "I will admit there is `So stupid, it's funny,'" he said. "But there is also `So stupid, get out of my face.' And that's what this movie is." So he and his organization gave it the Golden Raspberry.

They got Razzied

Basic Instinct 2 and Little Man grab seven nomiations each as the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation announces this year's contenders for the anti-Oscars known as Razzies. I don't know about you, but I'm putting my money down on "Sharon Stone's Lopsided Breasts" to win the Worst Screen Couple prize. And I wouldn't be surprised if Nicolas Cage gets Razzied as Worst Actor for The Wicker Man. Which raises a question: If the latter does occur, would this make Cage the only actor in history to have an Oscar and a Razzie to his credit?

Golden Raspberries

("Oh, God! Not another Razzie nomination!")

The Golden Raspberry Award Foundation -- dedicated, as always, to dishonoring the worst in cinema -- has released nominating ballots for the 27th annual Golden Raspberry Awards. And while write-in entries are allowed, preliminary nominees are listed in all Razzie categories.

The "hopefuls" (or perhaps that should be "hope-nots") for Worst Screen Couple include "Nicolas Cage & His Bear Suit" in The Wicker Man (a great choice, actually), "Tim Allen & Any Juvenile Super Hero" in Zoom, and "Sharon Stone's Lop-Sided Breasts" in the ill-starred sequel that Razzie-Dazzies refer to as Basically, It Stinks, Too. Potential nominees for Worst Picture include The Da Vinci Code, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Material Girls, BloodRayne -- and, of course, Basically, It Stinks, Too. And in the brand-new category of Worst Excuse for Family Entertainment, you'll find the holiday-season offerings Deck the Halls and Santa Claus 3: The Escape Claus.

But don't look for perennial Golden Raspberry favorite Sylvester Stallone among the Worst Actors (a line-up that does include Nicolas Cage for Wicker Man, David Morrissey for Basically, It Stinks, Too and -- gasp! -- Sean Penn for All the King's Men) or Worst Directors. (Do you really have to be told that Uwe Boll appears in the latter group for BloodRayne?) Razzie officials admit in their latest newsletter that, much to their great surprise, they actually liked Stallone's Rocky Balboa -- a flick they had assumed would be Worst Picture material. " "[W]hen Rocky finally hefts those barbells again," they write, "runs up the Philly Museum of Art's steps, and starts 'working on some hurtin' bombs,' we found ourselves suckered in. And when Rocky breaks down crying over the loss of his beloved Adrian, we found ourselves misting up -- and for once, not with tears of laughter."

Of course, none of that stopped the Razzie-Dazzies from nominating two of Stallone's co-stars, Burt Young and Milo Ventimiglia, for Worst Supporting Actor. But, then again, you wouldn't expect too much sentiment from these guys, wouldn't you?

If you'd like to cast your very own Golden Razzie ballot, click here for membership info. Final nominees will be announced Jan. 22, and winners will be dishonored Feb. 24 (the night before that other L.A. awards show).