("Oh, God! Not another Razzie nomination!")
The "hopefuls" (or perhaps that should be "hope-nots") for Worst Screen Couple include "Nicolas Cage & His Bear Suit" in
The Wicker Man (a great choice, actually), "Tim Allen & Any Juvenile Super Hero" in
Zoom, and "Sharon Stone's Lop-Sided Breasts" in the ill-starred sequel that Razzie-Dazzies refer to as
Basically, It Stinks, Too. Potential nominees for Worst Picture include
The Da Vinci Code,
Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector,
Material Girls,
BloodRayne -- and, of course,
Basically, It Stinks, Too. And in the brand-new category of Worst Excuse for Family Entertainment, you'll find the holiday-season offerings
Deck the Halls and
Santa Claus 3: The Escape Claus.
But don't look for perennial Golden Raspberry favorite
Sylvester Stallone among the Worst Actors (a line-up that
does include Nicolas Cage for
Wicker Man, David Morrissey for
Basically, It Stinks, Too and -- gasp! -- Sean Penn for
All the King's Men) or Worst Directors. (Do you really have to be told that
Uwe Boll appears in the latter group for
BloodRayne?) Razzie officials admit in their latest newsletter that, much to their great surprise, they actually
liked Stallone's
Rocky Balboa -- a flick they had assumed would be Worst Picture material. " "[W]hen Rocky finally hefts those barbells again," they write, "runs up the Philly Museum of Art's steps, and starts 'working on some hurtin' bombs,' we found ourselves suckered in. And when Rocky breaks down crying over the loss of his beloved Adrian, we found ourselves misting up -- and for once,
not with tears of laughter."
Of course, none of that stopped the Razzie-Dazzies from nominating two of Stallone's co-stars,
Burt Young and
Milo Ventimiglia, for Worst Supporting Actor. But, then again, you wouldn't expect too much sentiment from these guys, wouldn't you?
If you'd like to cast your very own Golden Razzie ballot, click here for membership info. Final nominees will be announced Jan. 22, and winners will be dishonored Feb. 24 (the night before that other L.A. awards show).
? Nope. Fried Green Tomatoes
? Uh-uh. Driving Miss Daisy
? Nah. After months of frustration, I decided to cop out today and simply Google for the info. And I'm a wee bit embarrassed to say that, really, I should have guessed the right answer right from the start: Rachel Portman's Oscar-nominated score
for The Cider House Rules
. D'oh. By he way: Tim Allen is the guy who narrates the spots. I couldn't figure that out on my own, either. Play the above video, and you'll fully appreciate what a dim bulb I am.
